you'll be in my heart;; [Scatter]

[moondog__[இ]]

Mercutio && Tybalt


Till you run away,
till you fall apart,
till you see yourself for what you are
will you be lookin for it anymore
when five becomes four?


[Mercutioxx]

I sighed to myself as I took in Scooter's words, but it wasn't enough to prepare me for what happened when Artemis bounded towards me, blood covering her bodice. I took a step back, flinching as her voice filled my ears. Where the hell have you been?! We've been worried sick about you! You get our poor mother pregnant and then wait until she has the four puppies just so you can forget your responsibilities and disappear, leaving her to deal with us! I took another step back, my tail now still and my ears plastered against my skull.

Each word cut me like a knife, and I didn't dare respond, for nothing I said would ever make up for the time lost. Instead, I suffered her words in silence, and did not dare move towards the rabbit-- no matter how hungry I was. No matter that I hadn't had food for three days.

No matter.

[Tybalt==]

I nodded to my mother as she spoke of Nessie, yet before I could respond, Artemis suddenly burst from the tree's. Her accusations were harsh, and I could see how they stung my father, but I said nothing. Her words were, after all, true. Sitting back on my haunches I cocked my head to the side and looked down at the rabbit.

"Thank you for hunting, Artemis." I muttered.



When you're all alone,
when the melody
till you close your eyes
and think of me
will you still hear me singin anymore
when five becomes four?

[/center]

[Mental..;;]

^{Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why’d you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, You found me}

I watched my daughter coming at my mate with blood already covering her, a feeling of terror spread through me as I watched, listening to the harsh words that my daughter spoke and almost flinching at each accusation.

When she walked off to go get the rabbit and drop it there for us to eat I just watched her closely, listening to her words.

"Artemis, that wasn't necessary."

My tone isn't as strict as I intended for it to be but I was trembling slightly as I walked over to Mercutio, hoping that he didn't feel too bad because of what she had said. Sometimes I just didn't know what was wrong with her, having outbursts like that. Usually aimed towards Mercutio even when he hadn't been there.. it had surprised me the first few times but then I just started to expect it from her.

I nuzzle his neck apologetically before just standing next to him, my head resting on his neck. My appetite was gone, and it seems as thought he happiness that had surrounded us moments ago was gone too.

^{Why’d you have to wait
To find me, to find me?}

[/blockquote]

^{Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I will cross}


Amusement filled my eyes as I watch her come at our father like some spirit out of the underworld with blood covering her in several places. I don't doubt she'll get her point across to him.

Hearing her words made that amusement fade though as I let a lot growl escape me, she apparently didn't hear it though as she just continued to say harsh things as she dropped the dinner that she had caught us at our feet. A somewhat disappointed look appeared on my features, she'd gone too far.

I take one step towards the limp body of the animal she had killed and sink my teeth into it, attempting to use my deformed paw to keep it where it was so that I could tear a chunk off the carcass with some difficulty before I turned away, carrying it with me for a few paces before I started to eat it.

I will just let them settle it all by themselves and not involve myself in the mess because it might just make things worse.

^{I just got lost
Every river that I tried to cross
And every door I ever tried was locked
Ooh and I'm just waiting till the shine wears off}

[/blockquote]

^{I cannot take this anymore
I'm saying everything I've said before
All these words they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Less I hear the less you'll say
But you'll find that out anyway}


I watched them not make a move towards the meat I'd just brought them, except for Scooter. And I listened to mum's attempted reprimand, giving her an apologetic look before I walked a short distance off and just let myself drop onto the ground.

I only stayed there for a few seconds before getting up again, walking into the trees again and towards where I knew a shallow pool of water was. I walked into the water as well, lowering myself into the cool water before I started to lick the blood off my coat to clean it with the help of the water.

The cool water made me feel better, I could already feel a calmer feeling spread through me as I finished cleaning myself and just lay in the water.

Staying there for a little while before I got up and out of the water, shaking myself to get rid of some of the water before I just sat next to the pool, some parts of my coat that's length was between that of my parents clinging to my muscled body.

My coat was lighter than my mum's golden coat with a dark path on my chest and part of my underbelly where chocolate hairs combined with my light coat. I was smaller than my mother but a lot more muscled than she was.

I truly am a fierce creature, though a beautifully fierce one..

^{Shut up when I'm talking to you
Shut up, Shut up, Shut up}

[/blockquote]

[moondog__[இ]]

Mercutio && Tybalt


Till you run away,
till you fall apart,
till you see yourself for what you are
will you be lookin for it anymore
when five becomes four?


[Mercutioxx]

I looked over at Scatter as she moved to my side and smiled. "No need, love. I really did deserve that." I said with a nod, playfully nudging her. The happy feeling to be with them was swelling in me again, and I was still so incredibly joyful. "I couldn't expect to be welcomed back with open arms!" I smiled as I looked over at Artemis, before I took a few steps towards her hesitantly.

"Artemis," I started quietly, "there's no excuse for me being away for so long. I should have devoted everything I had to finding you, your siblings, and your mother." I dipped my head slightly. "I realize this. And believe me, I regret not being here while you were growing up with all my heart. I always did tell myself I would never leave, that I would never be like my father..." These were the words that hurt the most, that caused rage at myself to course through my veins, that sliced openly like daggers at my heart. "...but I ended up doing just that."


[Tybalt==]

I watched my father as he spoke to Artemis, and despite my cool demeanor, I wanted to run to him and comfort him. But this was not my battle. So I stayed in place for a moment, before I moved to the rabbit and tore a piece of. I instantly danced back to my spot, beginning to slowly pick at the rabbit, but my eyes stayed glued to Artemis, wondering how she would react.


When you're all alone,
when the melody
till you close your eyes
and think of me
will you still hear me singin anymore
when five becomes four?

[/center]

[Mental..;;]

^{Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why’d you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, You found me}

I stood there and watched him speak to Artemis, I don't really think that it would work. As soon as he finished speaking she left, going into the trees again. I knew where she was going, she was going to a pool of water to clean off the blood, she always did that after bringing us the food that she caught.

I walk over to my love again and hold my muzzle close to his ear before speaking words meant for only him to hear.

"Go to her. She won't forgive you with everyone else around, she's too proud for that."

I told him quietly, I knew that Artemis had missed him almost more than I had, she'd looked up to her father as a young puppy and when he'd left she'd been devastated. She'd turned that devastation into anger though, anger which had just been growing and growing over the time he'd been gone.

I wait to see whether he would go to her before I moved over to the carcass of the rabbit to get my share of it too.

^{Why’d you have to wait
To find me, to find me?}

[/blockquote]

^{Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I will cross}


Families always have to have some sort of issue don't they? Some reason for one member to hate another.. It seems like that's just the way that the world works. In our case, father leaving has given Artemis a reason to be so angry at him. Hopefully she'll stop with him being back though, but if he knew what was good for him he wouldn't leave again.

I lowered myself onto the ground as I continued to eat my share of the meat slowly, using my good paw to hold it down while I tore small chunks from it.

^{I just got lost
Every river that I tried to cross
And every door I ever tried was locked
Ooh and I'm just waiting till the shine wears off}

[/blockquote]

^{I cannot take this anymore
I'm saying everything I've said before
All these words they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Less I hear the less you'll say
But you'll find that out anyway}


I was still sitting next to the shallow pool, thinking about what he had said. A small frown creases my forehead as I go over his words again and again. I don't know whether to forgive him, I was too angry to just forgive him because he'd apologized.

He'd left us all, he'd left me. And then he just decides to show up again out of nowhere! He can't just do that and expect everything to go back to normal, he'd been gone too long.

^{Shut up when I'm talking to you
Shut up, Shut up, Shut up}

[/blockquote]

[(--Z E P H Y r!]

{nessie}

dont tell me if im dying
cause i dont wanna know
if i cant see the sun
maybe i should go

Walking was never my strong point. Running was never my strong point. Jumping, swimming, playing, hunting. In my little years, I was never in the games my siblings played, and I didnt take part in the lessons mother gave us. This was a bad thing, and I knew it. But most of the time, I could barely stand, and all my energy was set into reminding myself to keep my chest moving and to gather enough energy to tell my pa and ma that I was hungry.

But, sadly, I had more energy when I was a babe then I do now. Sadly, I am weaker, and it is effecting me in great ways. I was always the smallest, the runt, but now, I wasnt the runt. I was... just... a bug compared to my family. I was the size of a flea, infact I was probably the same size I was when I was falling from a refrigerator, daddy fighting a great dane and Ty trying to get me on my feet. I was so weak then, and now just weaker. I knew that today, if I fell, I wouldnt be able to get up. I would just lay there and cry out, pray that someone found me.

This, I was not doing, thankfully. I remember having days where I would have great energy, as much as my brothers and sister. My last strong day was... a good few months ago. I was sitting on being a year old, but I had the strength of a new born babe. I wanted to be able to get good food for my family, like I had seen Arty do so many times, or wrestle like my brothers. Most of all, I wanted to know that someday I would have a mate, like daddy. I knew this was not going to happen. I had been told before, who would want to have such a skimpy little mutt carry their litter, when she couldnt even carry herself?

I thought this all as I ran a pink sliver over six protruding ribs, the curse of being a stray dog showing its gnarled self on me. My eyes were sunk in, my tail bones clearly visible as they worked themselves up and turned into my spine, arching over my back and then dipping roughly into my chest. I stood slowly, blinking and then stepping foreward. I looked so different then the last time I had seen each family member. I wish I could say I looked better, beautiful, all grown up, but sadly, I was not. Something inside me said I was the one in my family who got the short end of the stick. The dog no one wanted to feed, and no pound wanted to euthenize. 'Ahh, what an ugly dog. Surely, someone else will use a less costly method to flick it out of misery.' Well, sadly, I was not going to see the end for a good while. How did I know this? Cause no one up there wants a mutt like me.

I took another short step, staring at where I had heard the voices. Familiar tones running around eachother, talking easily about things I didn't remember. Nessie. Who was that? Nessie. I heard them say my name once, or twice, then they were on different conversation. "there's no excuse for me being away for so long. I should have devoted everything I had to finding you, your siblings, and your mother." That was a voice I understood. My heart stopped, then started again, skipping a beat. Suddenly they were familiar, and I wanted to run to them and greet them. 'Daddy!' I whined, as loud as my tight throat could bare, parched and squeeky. That was the bad side to missing out on mother's lessons, I didnt know how to do things. I didnt know how to find food or water, and I suffered now.

'Daddy!' My voice drounded everything around me, my ears ringing at the high pitched, squeeled sounds. I tested a sprint, getting two good strides before going down into the tall grass. My eyes watered with the effort, and everything was on fire, everything around me exploding with all the energy it took to breath, run, let them know Im here, get up, and to stay alive until I could see them. I was the worst side of a stray dog.

'Ty' I yelped, trying to bring myself back up onto my legs, or atleast two. I was still crying out their names, hacking everytime I used a strong note, and then trying again. I panted, finally pulling up onto four legs, shaking horribly. I felt my legs give. God damn it!

Please, hear me.

dont wake me cause im dreaming
of angels on the moon
where everyone you love
never leaves to soon

[moondog__[இ]]

Mercutio && Tybalt


Till you run away,
till you fall apart,
till you see yourself for what you are
will you be lookin for it anymore
when five becomes four?


[Mercutioxx]

"Go to her. She won't forgive you with everyone else around, she's too proud for that."

I nodded once and sighed to myself once more, before I started after Artemis at a trot. I approached her hesitantly, sitting down beside her yet still keeping a few inches away.

"Artemis," I murmured, my voice low so that only her ears would detect it. My words were for her, and her alone. "is there any way you could forgive me? I know it will take time, but..." I paused and sighed. "...is there?"

If she said yes, I would stay. I wouldn't leave them unless their lives depended on it, or until I was of a different, spiritual world. And if she said no, I would be gone. I wouldn't even interfere with her life again.

It would be as if I never existed.

[Tybalt==]

I watched my father go to my sister, blinking several times before I glanced over to my mother, and then to Scooter. I nodded to him once, before allowing my amber-gold eyes to look down at dinner. I leaned down to take a bite when suddenly, a voice reached my auds, causing me to freeze.

Daddy!

I was still, dumbfounded. Certainly it wasn't...

Daddy!

...no, it couldn't be...

Ty!

But it was! I rocketed to my feet and spun around, tan body a blur, muscles working furiously under my pelt as I raced towards the source of the noise. It did not take me long to find Nessie, collapsed. And oh, God, how weak she looked...

"Mom!" I called out as I crouched down beside her, trembling slightly. "Scooter! It's Nessie!"


When you're all alone,
when the melody
till you close your eyes
and think of me
will you still hear me singin anymore
when five becomes four?

[/center]

[Mental..;;]

^{Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why’d you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, You found me}

I watched him go to her like I told him to, my eyes staying on them until I heard Ty call out to me. When I heard the words that followed I jumped to my feet from the sitting position I was in and went to where he was as fast as I could.

"Nessie!"

My voice was a mixture of relief and desperate worry as I looked at the weak puppy that is my daughter.

I let my nose touch her gently, nudging her a little. I would pick her up if I could but I didn't even want to try it, since I might hurt her and I didn't want to do that.

I didn't know what to do to help her, even though I wanted to.

^{Why’d you have to wait
To find me, to find me?}

[/blockquote]

^{Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I will cross}


Seeing Ty run off followed by mother and hearing his calls I perked my ears before getting up calmly. Since they'd both rushed off so fast I didn't think it was necessary for me to hurt myself running after them as well.

I glanced over in the direction of Artemis and our father as I headed calmly over to my mother and brother and apparently sister too. The whole family really has come together again and it seeming to be pretty eventful too.

When I get to where they're all gathered I look at Nessie with a thoughtful though not pitying expression. I have a weakness too and I hate when other pity me because of it so I won't do that to her. She doesn't need pity, she just needs some help.

I make my way close to her, pushing aside my mother and sibling if I need to do so to get to her. I lowered my nose onto the ground next to her before pushing it gently in under her, she might need to try to help a little here by trying to lift herself off the ground as well because otherwise I might pinch her skin against the earth. And that is not what I want to do.

I keep trying to get her up onto her feet until I succeed, keeping my nose close to her for support. I've lowered myself down onto the ground right next to her as well so that she can just lean on me if she needs to.

I'm trying to think of how I can help her get to where we'd all been before, or maybe it would be best to just stay here and let father and Artemis come to us. That might be better that us having to take her all the way over there.

^{I just got lost
Every river that I tried to cross
And every door I ever tried was locked
Ooh and I'm just waiting till the shine wears off}

[/blockquote]

^{I cannot take this anymore
I'm saying everything I've said before
All these words they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Less I hear the less you'll say
But you'll find that out anyway}


Listening to his words I look away from him, not wanting to listen and hear what he has to say.

When he's done talking I'm looking off into the direction that everyone else seems to have disappeared to, though for what reason I don't know.

I looked at my father again then.

"I forgive you."

The words were slightly forced, calm but with a warning tone to them, telling him that if he ever dared disappear and leave us again he wouldn't be forgiven so easily. My eyes are slightly cold too as I look at him, though they soften a bit.

I did miss him terribly and if it wasn't for my pride then I would probably be telling him everything right now, just letting him know exactly how it made me feel that he'd left.

^{Shut up when I'm talking to you
Shut up, Shut up, Shut up}

[/blockquote]

[(--Z E P H Y r!]

Once I spoke the language of the flowers,
Once I understood each word the caterpillar said,
Once I smiled in secret at the gossip of the starlings,
And shared a conversation with the housefly in my bed.

After what seems like an eternity of no show, no love, no help, what do you say? When your family is having the time of their life, a perfect reunion, and you happen to come up, the dead part of the family, how do you act? Its not like I had planned this. If I did know my parents would be here, I would have.... have done something. Groomed myself, tried to save more energy.... ate something. I would have made myself fake this out. Forced every inch of a smile I could, and told them I was perfect, and that I was glad to have the warm love of my littermates and parents. But sadly, I now had no time to play smiles and tell them all I was having success at being a stray dog. Well, the truth deffinatly hurts. May it not be them, but me.

I had to say though, they might have expected this. I had never been one to walk without stopping, never been able to stand up quickly when mom or dad brought home dinner, so I never made it to the food before most was gone. Thank god I had Ty though. He was wonderful, he was like... perfect. He loved me more then each of my family members put together could ever love me. I knew that, but I also knew that if we ever did permanently leave our parents, Ty would insist I stay with him and I would just be his own personal burden.
Congratulations, Tybalt! You won a bag of shit!

I heard them running to me, calling my name. So... they had heard me. I looked for the faces, scrambling every limb to catch the ground, then push up. Stand. Stand. The only thing going through my head. Nessie! I heard them again, and I looked up at them, golden figures running to me. Tybalt. Momma. They stopped, hovering over me, staring. Just staring. I knew what they were thinking though. Dont help her, you might hurt her.

A shockwave shot through my frame, sending my back to the ground in a heep. I looked at them. Mama... Ty. Im sorry. I really am. Im sorry! I cried, pulling my paws over my muzzle, almost as if they were dead weights. I felt something warm, something solid touch my side. Strong, healthy. I dropped my paws, letting it lift me up. I looked over.

Scooter. I whined, suddenly upright, his round form holding me up. I turned my head, looking at the comparison, my whole body next to his. It really made me sick to see it. The jutting bones that were risen like small hills, running all down my back, my waist barely six inches across. And his... his figure was near perfect, even for a stray. There were close to no signs of fatigue or struggles in the wild. No ribs or spine, no five-inch waist. I closed my eyes, feeling the hot tears sting against my almost invisible eyelids. I was sick.

I opened them, suddenly my head dropped, laying across Scooter's back, large brown eyes watching my mother and Ty. Im so, so sorry you have to see me like this.

Once I heard and answered all the questions of the crickets,
And joined the crying of each falling dying flake of snow,
Once I spoke the language of the flowers. . . .
How did it go?
How did it go?