looking.through.the.[Glass]

[" m o n s t e r ?]

on these hands
and knees I'm crawling
InK
with these broken wings
I'm falling

so while your outside looking in
My pads they were moving, they were tripping, I was running, running far, far away from him. The cool grass turned to hot stone, then damp concrete littered in leaves, the sun was setting..My golden tinted optics seemed to be on fire, reflecting the colors of the setting sun. The breeze had grown stronger, warmer, more humid, it was like swimming under water, I felt like, like I was drowning. It was hard to breathe, but I was still running, limping, tripping falling. My feelings wavered and crashed around in my skull, It was like being ripped apart on the inside..I wanted to wail, I wanted to cry, I felt so much pain, but I was free..Free. My optics flashed onto the canines that I passed they stared, some laughed, some backed away from me, none helped me when I fell, none asked what was wrong..That was just as well, I didn't want thei rpitty, didn't want their help..I was sure I had sentenced another to die by the claws of Niu...
descrbing what you see
I was still running, I had been running for so long, it was night, the street lights had snapped on long ago, My breath was shallow, the air was more humid..My pads felt heavy, lead...I continued to stumbled, blooded paw prints left on teh sidewalks, trails, grass..Anywhere I ran, sumbled, fell. My pilalrs hurt from where Niu had thrown me to the earth..The stars above were hidden, hidden by clouds darker than Niu's pelt, a storm..I don't know..I kept running as the lightning flickered and thunder roared, there was no rain, though...My mind was faltering along with my pillars, I couldn't think strait, the pain was eating away at me, I was gasping for breath, my vision was gorwing fuzzy, my pillars were still moving, and then I fell, fell for the last tiem..Fell to the cracked concrete, feeling it slice my flesh, my sun hued optics closed, my breathing all but stopped..Vaguely I realized that I lay in the middle of a street..Good..Let a dang car hit me, it'd be better then Niu finding me. My skull turned to the side, I was trying, trying to breath in the humid air, there didn't seem to be enough..Then my mind left me..and there was darkness...I lay there, my long different hued pillars stretched away from me, my lungs heaving, heaving, but no air..Crimson blood falling from my pads and pillars..and the sufficating darkness that held my mind..
remember what your staring at is
me

[(--Z E P H Y r!]

abiddon
Someone, if you can see the dark inside of me
No one will ever change this animal I have become

Evil was something I loved. Death was something I loved. I feared nothing, for I was fear itself. I stood above all, and I ruled all. Dont think Ill break that rule for any bitch.

I trotted easily towards the broken figure, sneering. Someone was in pain... and I hadnt caused it? Horrid. Monsterous! I stopped right before the femme, looming over it. "Well ello there." I said, in a very dark English accent. I grinned, staring at her with very light blue eyes. She seemed tired, and laying in the middle of the road wasnt a very bright idea.

I lowered my crown, sniffing her. She was very hot, clearly she had been running along time. "Cemon luv." I said, grabbing her scruff, and pulling her towards the ditch.

Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal


x
i forgot to put he had an accent on his bio. sorry

[" m o n s t e r ?]

i thought my demons
InK
were my friends

what have I done

There was a voice, it barely penetrated the darkness...what was it saying...The voice was strange sounded far away, it had an accent....I would open my optics, if I wanted to, if I cared..I didn't it was probley Niu, he'd found me..why couldn't a car just freaking hit me! The voice spoke again, and then the ground was sliding under me, or was I being moved..The concrete was scraping againtst my ivory and ebonite form, I didn't struggled though, I couldn't feel anything but the pain that rocked me and the fear that was growing on the inside..Then there was dirt, no concrete, I groaned, the pain seemed stronger..My optics flickered though, the ivory leads pilled back, and sun painted optics were revealed, they moved and fell upon the shadowed form..I flinched, before fulling seeing it, I struggled to get up, the form looke debonite, I couldn't see it's optics..I struggled harder now, but I couldn't get my pillars to look so finally I gave up, gave in...Lay there, humid air clawing into my lungs, my mug parted, and gaspign voice, broken..
"n-Niu..please.."
I still couldn't see the brute that was there, but I feared it was Niu, Niu wouldn't kill me, he'd just make the pain drag on and on and on...I whimpered...And went limp..

[(--Z E P H Y r!]

Abiddon
I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed

I glanced around the area, scanning for anything. I looked back to her. "Nee-ooo?" I asked, carrying the 'o' sound alittle longer then needed. I returned to her level, smirking. "Dunno a nee-ooo. But there es me." I said, wagging my tail. "Whoever this nee-ooo guy is, Ill rip him to shreds if he did this to you."

Oh, god it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home sitting all alone inside your head

[" m o n s t e r ?]

I stand alone
InK
fighting trust and forgiveness

i am broken
I am..
I am, nothing.
useless
yours

a smirk on ivory lips, Niu was midnight.
Niu, didn't wag is tail. The voice, so sweet sounding.
So grand, I wanted to know why..Why this stange canine
was here, why he was speaking to me, I wanted to know.
sun tinted optics, opened, completely and fell on him, not
Niu. He looked nicer, not mean, not evil, nice, sweet. Icy
blue optics, were there, Niu's were gold, gold like mine, not
Niu. I smiled, it was a faltering smile, but the presence of a
canine other than Niu that cared, it made me smile. My lyrics
came, they were out of breath, but still held the innocene,
the fear, the childishness, the butterflyness.
"n-No, don't bother..He's no one..and may I
ask who you are.."
I was so innocent, I didn't understand this world.
I didn't undertand not to trust, not to know..I didn't.
I was weak, like Niu said..but i just didn't understand, I struggled
to raise myself up, but my pained pads and crying pillars, would not hold weight, so I fell back to the earth, gasping for breath, Trembling.
Shaking, wanting someone, someone, to help, not hurt.
I looked at him, my optics showing my pleading look, the mask
I couldn't get it back..It was gone forever, so it seemed.

[(--Z E P H Y r!]

Abiddon
I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed

She struggled with words that sounded so broken to me. They were words of someone who was tearing apart from the inside, and somehow... I-I... pitied? If I was correct, thats what this feeling was. Hmm. I heard her next words, 'And may I ask who you are..' Well, couldnt put it any better than that. 'Well, I am Abiddon. How about you miss?'I asked her, smirking. I could work that tone from her easily, and replace it with a smile and a healed heart. Then break it.

Ahhh, the thought was wonderful. Who the fuck cared about... love? Not I, said the dog. Love was a thing reserved for the most willing, the most ignorant fools. I, was not a fool. I was smart. Love pulled you down and held you there, ripping you into little pieces that were burned quickly, first drounded in gasoline, and then torched, only top explode into bright colors. THATS what love was. I rejected it.

Never once had it crossed my mind at the time, but, later,
could she change my thoughts?

Oh, god it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home sitting all alone inside your head

[" m o n s t e r ?]

so while your on the outside looking in
describing what you see
remember what your staring at is

I'm a slow dying flower
in the frost killing hour
InK
I need a lullaby
I need a kiss goodnight

He was asking my name, oh
what was it, should I lie..No
why should I, I had no reason,
and it wasn't me, it wasn't
right. I could lie about how I felt,
but it was easier to lie like that
then lie about my name, myself.
My mug parted, my lyrics, seemed
so fragile, like a thin sheet of glass,
so beautiful, but you always feared
that it would break when you were around it.
"My name it's...ink. Nice to meet you, sir."
I said sir, I didn't say lord, I didn't say god.
I said sir, he couldn't hurt me, if he was like

Niu, because I said sir.
.My sun tinted optics
never did look him strait
in his ice like one's. They always stayed
on my paws or his. I didn't look,
for fear of a large pad coming
down upon my skull. I was still
laying there, still vurenable, but
for the moment I made no move
to get up, no.. I just, I just
felt safer in his company, enough
to lay on the earth, below him,
but not enough to trust myself
to let go of Niu's rules, on how
to treat him, Niu..The god, my god.
I let my skull slide back to the earth,
the effort of holding it up to talk
drained much of my energy, so
I just let it fall back to the warm
earth, and let it lay there.
My sun tinted optics, flickered,
as i stared out in the darkness,
everything still seemed so blurry,
but it was sharpening...
I saw ebonite pads, large
coming forth, over the cool earth,
and I saw the golden optics,
crimson blood on midnight,
lies on death. I heard a voice,
mumbling, muttering, saying
something..In soft, hushed tones.
"InK, i'm sorry, they're..
they're gone."
Then It seemed my spirit
floated away from my bod'
and I saw, a young ivory
tainted pup, cowering
in the shadows of a
honey bush, it's
sweet scents, and the lovely
weather of the day,
mocking, mocking.
I see that same puppy
flinch, and I see her
back away from the ebonite
canine, threw up her skull,
whimper once, then howl.
Scream, and howl..
Scream at the unfairness
of it all, at the mockingness
of the earth..and at herself
because she is still alive.
Then I see the large
dark colored one, put it's
pillar around her, and sit there
with her, and tilt his back and
howl, and howl, so low
so mournful. so full of
lies.
Then I realize,
what I am seeing,
it's me, it's me
and Niu, but why
do I think he is lying.
why?
Then my sun tinted
optics are being
blurred again,
I can't see..right..
i'm to tired, to weak,
to much in pain.
to see anything, then in
slow motion, and blurriness.
I don't know, if Abbidon..is it?
yess, abbidon has said something.
Or how long the memory had gone on.
There is still whispering in my skull.
From a different memory.
From niu.
Niu.
He is whispering inside of me.
telling me I am worthless
I am nothing.
useless.
and I cry out
for all the mockingness
of the world, and the pain
it throws at me, the unforgiveness,
what did I do to deserve this?

me

[(--Z E P H Y r!]

. abiddon !!

Sir. I sneered at that name, my ears laying against my skull. Abiddon. Not sir. I said in reply, then lowered my head, catching her eyes. I dragged them up, and smiled to her. Ink, beautiful name. Ink... Ink... like.. pen ink? I tilted my head the slightest bit, then closed my eyes, taking in the name once more. Ink. Could Ink save me? Could Ink rewrite my story, my personality, and take away the bastard in me? For one thing, why did i feel so... soft with her?

I sighed, then opened my eyes. Ink. I stated again, clarifying her name to myself. Well Ink, Im here to help you now. You need it. What... what had I just said? Was I seriously acting... nice? Like I had a beating heart? Shit! It wasn't possible... was it? Apparently...

But... how? Why?