|
|
Post by Ємßєг§ on Apr 9, 2009 19:55:31 GMT -5
Sometimes I need to remember just to breathe
Sometimes I need you to stay away from me
Sometimes I’m in disbelief I didn’t know
Somehow I need you to go Chocolate optics scanned the sea shore, sliding by the glimpses of porcelain blue ocean, golden hued sands, and ignoring the melodic thrum of the waves and the gentle whistle of the passing breeze, to the tall ebonite pillars of weather beaten rock. Appearing charred and ashen, tall columns surround the beach cove, shielding it from sun and rain. As the decades pass it by, marking their piece of the time-line into the brutally etched scratches and dips on the face of the granite surface. Eroded, the tall columns remain, still embracing the hail that beats them, the winds that whip them, and the rain that continues to wash them clean off the face of the earth. No matter the pain, they will not, and cannot, stand down.
I have once roamed a sea shore. I have once seen the blue porcelain sea and the golden hued sands. I have once heard the melodic thrum of the waves, and the gentle whistle of the passing wind. And I have, too, gazed upon the ebonite pillars of weather beaten rock. It is a strange thing, really. I do understand, or course, that they are merely lifeless minerals and it would be rather inaccurate to compare them to a living organism. Yet I cannot help seeing myself within them. Take the hate driven toward me; the hate of the femme whose mate I killed, the hate of all of my opponents, and maybe the hate I could possibly receive from my companion, and, metaphorically, substitute it as the weather eroding the columns. And now myself in place of the columns. Think about it.
If you know me at all—not many do, if none at all—you must know I do not back down, without a single exception. Even outmatched in a fight, it’s a live or die circumstance; I’m not a coward, and I will not permit myself to be disgraced. Hate, too, does not bypass this trait. Standing tall against the loathsome feelings in the penetrating eyes of my enemies, I do not pay heed to their feelings. They may batter me all they wish, but there is not a chance that I will back away from them. In that way, I am comparable to the large black columns. If you have enough imagination, that is.
But I was surprised I did not have to mimic those pillars. I had been bracing myself for shocked glances from the Fae I had met just a short time before, expecting her to understand the gestures I had created and an emotion of hatred to steal her away from me. My gesticulations had hopefully inferred to the femme that…well, no need to repeat it. Immediately stereotyping her, I had assumed that she would be appalled. Instead I found myself taken aback by her seemingly blunt reaction to the weight of the information I had just given to her. Why didn’t she run from me? Why didn’t she stare at me in sheer horror of what I truly was; a murderer.
I looked to her further action, hoping to somehow understand her strangely tranquil behavior toward the situation. Perhaps she did not understand me to the fullest and had taken my demonstration to a different level. Yet as I observed the oncoming motions, they did not seem to infer any misunderstanding or confusion. But then… I thought, still bewildered by her actions. She did nod her head a few moments before. Perhaps she does not mind that I’m… I cut off myself off, as she had begun her steady movements. Her dipped head swept in the direction of myself and then shook rapidly, almost to the point where it was rather unrealistic. Her face held quite a serious expression, and I found that I was desperate to understand what she was trying to say.
My cranium lowered as my companion did; she had laid herself across the ground, sprawled before me like yesterday’s kill. She looked…dead. It was quite an act, I had to say. The Fae had truthfully captured the action well, for if I had been a passerbyer, I would have surely mistaken her as a lifeless creature, dead and gone. Actually, it was so convincing, I was almost surprised when she got to her feet, regaining her ability to look alive. Her last motion was a small gesture toward herself. Even as she stood stock still before me, waiting for a response, I found myself unmoving, not knowing what to say. What did she mean by all of this movements? Me…no…dead…her. Or I…no…dead…her. I…no…kill…her? I no kill her. What was that supposed to mean? I could kill her with the bat of a lash. She was so small and fragile. Did she think she was stronger than me?
But somehow I believed I had misunderstood her. Emerging from my nature of stillness, I shook my head stiffly, brow slightly furrowed. I don’t think I understand… I thought sadly, hoping she wouldn’t take me for a dunce because of my lack of comprehension. What else was there to take from her movements? Maybe I was denying the fact that she did not truly understand my power and will to kill. Or maybe I was right. Fifty – fifty. Right or wrong. It was a difficulty understanding anything she said. It was indeed a half chance that I would never understand what she was trying to tell me.
Don’t stay
Forget our memories,
Forget our possibilities
Take all your faithlessness with you
Just give me myself back and
Don’t stay Total Word-Count;; 897
Puppet;; Rivalry
Creativity Level 1 - 10;; Eight
Lyrical Muse;; Don’t Stay – Linkin Park
Intended For;; Mental.;; with Flicker |
|
|
|
Post by Mental..;; on Apr 12, 2009 7:51:49 GMT -5
 life's a puzzle well worth solving[/color]
He doesn't understand me!! Frustration showed clearly on my features, though it wasn't aimed at him but rather aimed at myself for not being able to better explain the things that filled my mind. How could I explain it to him better, how am I supposed to express to him that I know he can kill me easily but that he won't and in a way also can't.. Or maybe somehow show him that I'm not meant to die, that I still have a very long time to live before whatever force it is that takes our lives won't take mine for a long long time to come. But that seemed even harder to do, unless I went and jumped off a cliff somehow and then walked up to him again. But that would hurt, too much.
I turned my eyes onto him again, a slightly apologetic look in them. Then I let a slight smile appear on my features as I motioned to myself then shook my head before backing up a step or two, looking scared. If I could have I would've been making whining noises. Actually, I don't really know if I can make sounds.. maybe I can.. I haven't tried anything like that since the accident. But now's not the time to experiment with that sort of thing.
When I felt certain he would get the drift of me backing away scared I let a calm look appear on my features again as I moved to where I had been, watching him curiously and waiting to see if he would've understood that one. It would have to do, because I can't explain those other things to him. Maybe later when we knew each other better I would be able to communicate my ideas to him more easily but for now I can't, it's just too difficult for him to understand. I'm starting to think that he's not used to being around other dogs to start with, maybe he kills them all? He is a murdered after all. Well, so he says.
Maybe this new attempt at communicating would even help him understand my last. Maybe he thinks that I didn't understand what he had tried to tell me.. I had understood, straight away when I'd met him I knew there was something hostile about him, something I should be careful of. But now that I knew what it was it wasn't worrying me even in the slightest, I just know that he won't kill me. It's just a feeling that I have.
-ooc: sorry this one's so short. kinda ran outta muse-
[/blockquote][/color] |
|
|
|
Post by Ємßєг§ on Apr 21, 2009 20:49:18 GMT -5
End transmission
The satellites are down
I need an earthquake
To shake this pity
Off the ground
Chapped lips quivered as the smooth bristled surface of a pink tongue slid over it nervously. I could make out the frustrated appearances on my companions features, and I silently glared inwardly, slightly annoyed at her sudden frustration. But didn’t she have a point? Walking straight into a wave of confusion at my emotions, I frowned slightly, looking to my paws. Maybe I was just stupid, and others had a right to be annoyed by stupid dolts. I guess. Truthfully, I’m not really sure. Not only were my emotions overly dramatic, they were too puzzled to know what I should be feeling at any given moment. How damn inconvenient.
Opening my mouth to say something, I soon remembered the fact she still could not speak. Why would that have changed anyway. Turning my head over my shoulder so she wouldn’t see me grimacing at myself, I came to the sudden conclusion that I really was stupid. Was there any evidence to prove me wrong? Hm, let’s see, no. I kill dogs. I can’t communicate with people. I forget the obvious. I mean, that’s real smart if you ask me. You know, I should lead an entire country. I’d do such a great job, if you know what I mean.
Facing my companion again hastily, not wanting her to think anything was wrong. I could pretend I had heard something and looked back to see. She wouldn’t know the difference would she. I pricked my ears up for show, trying to assure her that my distraction from her wasn’t anything important. Too bad I didn’t know for sure how gullible she was. It’d be good to know those kind of things for future reference. Tongue circling my mouth again, I wondered how I’d ask her that. Are you gullible? The quizzical thought swirled through my mind. There were a number of things I’d probably never be able to ask her, assuming that I’d meet her again.
Still in thought, I had to force myself to pay attention as she moved her body once more, this time her face morphing into a terrified expression until fading into a calmer glance. Trying to relate this to her last attempt at communication, I found myself still distracted with my emotions to concentrate enough. The word stupidity kept coming to mind as I put the pieces to my jigsaw into the wrong places. Scared calm. Calm scared. Scared then calm. She scared then calm. I suppose I didn’t try as hard as last time, and my flitting eyes were probably giving way to my distraction.
My wet serpent curled around my canines inside of my mouth. I had never realized I had such a bad habit before today. Since when was I as observant to notice that? Mouth formed into a small frown, and a gave her a piteous look of confusion and then quickly threw my head over my shoulder again, this time almost bursting out into a snarl. I was so stupid, so dumb! Why couldn’t I understand her? Was I too thickheaded to understand simple gestures, or control my emotions, or kill dogs against my will, or do any number or dimwitted things!
Breathing deeply I peered at her out of the corner of my eye; she would obviously know something was wrong now, I wasn’t using that stupid I heard something behind me, excuse again. Blinking slowly, trying to drape a sense of tranquility over my shaking bodice. Stupidity. Equals. Me.
Just don’t trust these liars at the door
You have to find a better way
Kill the ones that have these answers for
The questions I will never say Total Word-Count;; 580
Puppet;; Rivalry
Creativity Level 1 - 10;; Seven
Lyrical Muse;; My Apocalypse – Escape the Fate
Intended For;; Mental with Flicker
Notepad;; I’m so sorry it took so long, Ments! It’s not very good either…Just been having a rough schedule lately. I’ll try posting more frequently from now on! |
|
|
|
Post by Mental..;; on Apr 23, 2009 20:45:45 GMT -5
life's a puzzle well worth solving [/color]
I knew that he just didn't understand what I was trying to tell him, he hadn't fooled me by pretending that there was something behind him. Even though I wouldn't be able to hear it I would be able to sense it in a different way. And there had been nothing there. I had a feeling that he thought he was stupid and that it was his fault that we could not communicate better. But it's not. It's not his fault that I became deaf and can't try harder to communicate with other dogs. I haven't even attempted to make a sound after I stopped being able to hear, just assuming that I can't.. Because if you can't hear then how can you make sounds?
I let myself drop onto the earth, a completely sad expression on my features. This time I wasn't trying to communicate anything to him. I was just genuinely saddened by the fact that I couldn't even tell him that I don't think he's stupid for not being able to understand my badly communicated comments. Because it's not his fault, it's mine. Maybe I'm the stupid one, because I'm not making things easy enough for him to understand and I should be able to.
I don't even look at him now, just lying there drowning in my own sorrows I suppose. He might as well leave, go and find someone better to talk to that he could actually understand and talk to. Since I can't even hear him if he tries to talk to me. I'm comfortable with this depressed state that I am falling into, it's well known to me. It usually happens because I can't communicate and others just decide that it's easier to walk away than to just keep trying. I don't blame them at all. Would I walk away if I was the one that had that choice? Maybe I would.
It seems harsh in a way. But most living things would much rather just choose the easy way out instead of gritting their teeth and just attacking the problem head on to try and solve it. It's easier to avoid things that are too hard to handle. I know I'm no different. The only reason I can't avoid this problem is because it's impossible. For me it is anyway. I can't think of a way to get past it without having to take complete notice of it. I'm waiting for him to leave, to just go so that he won't have to deal with the problem I present.
[/blockquote][/color] |
|
|
|
Post by Ємßєг§ on May 6, 2009 7:44:25 GMT -5
Between the sadness and the smile
Lies the flicker of the fire
You always said this never hurt you
I always said you were a liar
Oh, look. That’s just dandy, Rivalry. Look what the hell you did, damnit! Glazed optics observed my female companion as she slumped toward the ground, face stained with tears. Metaphoric tears, let’s just say. Have you ever made someone happy? No, really! I argued with a sudden hyena cackle in my mind. Oh, yeah. I just always made others happy. Death is a new beginning isn’t it? I could have burst out laughing right there. No, I don’t think I’d ever made anyone happy. Even in my poor attempt to not draw blood or be angry, I still couldn’t manage to make someone anything but spiteful.
Something about her told me maybe I should pack my bags and totally drop off the face of the Earth. That wouldn’t be too bad, would it? Maybe I should. I sense of anger was creeping under my gut. Why won’t she be happy!? I asked in frustration. ’Cause you’re a dimwit and can’t understand a think she says. A calmer voice answered it. It’s a good thing my gut is inside my body. I wanted to get silence that stupid angry voice so bad. I probably would have stepped on it. Oh, another great job.
She wouldn’t even look at me, damnit. My tongue laid still now, no longer curving around my molars in anxiety. It was held back in my mouth, motionless, like a viper ready to spring. Who compares their tongue to a viper? I snorted angrily at myself, now myself looking away from the Fae as well. I didn’t like to see the sadness and defeat reflected in her orbs. Maybe I should just leave. Speaking stiffly, like I always did. I was neglecting the fact she couldn’t hear me on purpose; I was too frustrated with everything to do much else.
I imagined myself walking away from…I didn’t even know her name. How was I totally thinking about her without even knowing her wretched name?! Exhaling slowly, I calmed myself in vain. But no, as I pictured my body walking away from the chilled forest, leaving the deaf canine to fend for herself, I couldn’t. I’d end up feeling guilty in the end, yadda, yadda, yadda. God, what baloney. Rivalry, for a killer, you are the biggest wimp I have ever seen in my life! I complained inwardly.
I don’t even know your name. I murmured quietly. How could I ask her that in a way she would understand? I shook my head. If I didn’t leave, then how would I ever be able to stay within her presence? We could barely understand each other, if not at all! How would that work out in the end? Two friends that could never talk to each other? Or maybe I could solve my problem by walking away and forgetting I had ever met her, just marking this as a forgotten, failed attempt at curing myself from my own emotions.
There still lies a little silence
Two hearts and one connection
One voice lacks emotion now
I always knew Total Word-Count;; 489
Puppet;; Rivalry
Creativity Level 1 - 10;; Six
Lyrical Muse;; This Is Who We Are – Hawthorne Heights
Intended For;; Mental with Flicker
Notepad;; Mental, I really do apologize for my lack of posting. If you’ve seen my absence reports, you’ll know why. I feel utterly terrible for making you wait like this. Come Summer, I’ll be replying to posts like breathing. School is really weighing me down. I just want to thank you for not being on my back about it. I’ll try harder to reply in the future. Your consistent posting just amazes me, Ments. |
|
|
|
Post by Mental..;; on May 7, 2009 6:01:06 GMT -5
life's a puzzle well worth solving [/color]
It was a long time that I just lay there with my eyes cast downward, the fear of looking up and not seeing him there gripping at my heart and mind with claws that felt as though they were both made of ice and fire alike. A freezing touch coupled with the searing heat, opposite yet somehow each almost had the same effect as the other. It felt as though my insides were on fire, the flames tickling at some corners of my mind as if telling me to look up, to just take that chance and look up. To just put some faith in the hope that I felt that he had not left. I have no way of telling whether he did or not unless I just gather up some courage and have a look.
I was slowly moving my eyes in the direction he had been. And when he came within the limits of my sight I breathed in a deep breath of air that expressed both surprise and relief. He had not left me! Yet. My expression was one of great surprise though, even though I had felt quite a big amount of hope that he was still there, each beat of my heart making me hope more yet dread more that he might not be there. But he was, and that was good. He was shaking his head, I'm not sure why he was doing that. Maybe he had tried to communicate and I had missed it just because I wasn't looking at him. If that was the case then I could just kick myself right now for being such a stupid dog.
A frown appear on my features as I watch him carefully, wondering what it is that's bothering him and making him shake his head. I know that there's a happy almost overjoyed look in my eyes, I'm just happy that he had not left like I had expected him to. Maybe I had judged him wrongly and he wasn't like all of the others. Maybe he didn't take the easy way. Maybe he wants to stay here and try to communicate and didn't care that I wasn't smart enough to think of way that would make it easier for the both of us. Maybe he just didn't have anywhere else to go. Maybe he had something else on his mind, a hidden agenda and just stayed there because I was part of his plan. Maybe he cared at least a little about me, a deaf bitch he had basically just met. Maybe not.
I can feel the happiness sink down lower and lower, turning into a depressed feeling that enclosed around me like a box. No, like a cloud of suffocating smoke. It was making everything seem grey, bleak. Choking me on the misfortunes that it brought to mind, false hopes that was just there to trick me into a false cheerfulness. I could only just manage to keep some of my attention on him still, he was barely visible to me through the thick cloud that my mind was conjuring up to bring life to the way I felt so that I could not just feel the emotion but see it and almost taste it as well.
My ears are lifted upwards slightly, in some attempt to catch a sound. But it's in vain. Never will I hear anything again, I knew that. My deafness was both a gift and a living nightmare. Sometimes the accident was brought back to my mind in such a vivid way that I could hear everything and feel everything again.
The exact moment when I lost my ability to hear had had it's own unique sound. It's a sound that's almost unexplainable. If you could match a sound to the beauty of lightning that run across the sky across a undamaged landscape in the middle of a starless and moonless night and the way that being loved makes you feel turned into a timeless warp of sharp cold feelings that burn the flesh and soul in one succession. That would be the sound that I heard that day explained in the best way possible. The beauty of it, the pain.. The oddness and the importance. All things that are carved into my memory to stay there forever, clear as the day it happened. Not many would be able to say such a thing.
-ooc;; posting is what keeps me sane I think. =]. It's an outlet for my excessive amount of intense feelings and opinions which saves me going off at some poor person during the day. I need it. But I love it too.. So yeah. My excuse to not do homework as well. Much better use of my time I think. lol.
That and I basically have no life.
would've made the post longer but I thought that would be a good place to end it. Very proud of this one.-
[/blockquote][/color] |
|
|
|
Post by Ємßєг§ on May 29, 2009 11:09:55 GMT -5
Circling your, circling your, circling your head,
Contemplating everything you ever said
Now I see the truth, I got doubt
A different motive in your eyes and now I’m out
The earth beneath my paws was cold, even though a could spot some distant ray of light, bleeding down from the canopy of trees that surrounded the clearing. Car headlights. I found that the moment had grown tense. I had not been expecting much of the humans within these parts, seeing that this odd glade was surrounded by nothing but barren wasteland for miles. The two orbs of light seemed to flicker before riding farther and farther down the dusty pathway outside the wood. Or maybe, perhaps I had been imagining the entire thing.
Blinking hesitantly, I looked around me for other traces of life aside myself and my newly found companion. In a matter of a few seconds I had drawn away the blanket that had been draped over myself. The warmth I had been feeling, the scarce happiness that I had felt deep in my gut at my accomplishment of communication vanished. For a moment, I felt like someone…or something was watching me.
The confusion was overwhelming. My sudden realization consisted mainly of the fact on how I had actually managed to hold back my wild emotions, how had I been able to conceal the thing that tormented me most, the thing that I could never control before. What was so different now? Why had this sudden chance meeting managed to rein my disorder? For the first time, I wondered if I was dreaming, that I had never met the deaf dog, who now looked up at me with such a ridiculous happy glint in her eyes.
I felt like I was so trapped, so small. Unable to explain the happenings in my own life. Who was I but a small insignificant mutt, standing amongst so many other species and more noted creatures on the small speck we call Earth? I had a terrible disorder, my damned emotions rearing out of control at every little thing, all my life, and now I couldn’t even explain how it worked. She had managed to calm it, to ease it into an era of sleep, this dog. But how? How should I know? I knew nothing any more.
My maw remained slightly parted and I simply stared at the dog who calmed the thing I could never retain, like a man who lulled a cobra with his bear hands. I felt as if I was helpless to do anything. That I was powerless next to knowledge. Could not I control what I possessed? Why was I to wield such a thing without the ability to shape it in the way I desired? Is there a point to molding clay if it is not you who deicides what the final product is to be?
Headstrong... It was a word that I frequently used to describe both myself and my vicious habits. That was certainly not how I felt, not entirely sure of how anything in life was to turn out. And yet, there I stood, contemplating the only being who seemed to put me at ease. Should I not just accept her for what she had done, what I had longed for anyone to manage, and forget my own failure at turning my own emotions down a notch? No. Because that wasn't how things worked.
Why is everything so strange? I asked aloud again, obviously not expecting an answer. Whatever your name is... I trailed off in a quiet manner, as if she could hear what I had to say, and I was ashamed of it. Who cared anymore? If I was with her...I could keep my emotions in place. I think I found a new travel companion...
Back off I’ll take you on
Headstrong to take on anyone
I know that you are wrong
Headstrong we’re headstrong
Total Word-Count;; 601
Puppet;; Rivalry
Creativity Level 1 - 10;; Six
Lyrical Muse;; Headstrong -- Trapt
Intended For;; Mental with Flicker
Notepad;; Finally finished, Ments! Sorry for the hold up, but it'll be summer soon! =D |
|
|
|
Post by Mental..;; on Jun 1, 2009 0:11:25 GMT -5
life's a puzzle well worth solving [/color]
There are a few words that I can sense, not so much as hear though. If they are spoken something in my mind will just know what they are, they would just be familiar to me somehow so I would know what they are. 'Name' was one of those. But it doesn't always work, something the words are too close together and then it's not treated as a single word but part of the whole sentence. When he spoke it this time my ears twitched slightly, recognizing the word but not the context that he was using it in..
I cocked my head slightly, looking at him with a curiousness in my eyes, wondering what it was that he was talking about. I moved towards him a bit more, reaching out towards him with a paw to touch him only lightly so that I could get his attention. I don't really know what I can say to him to distract him from his own thoughts. Because it has to be his thoughts that are troubling him. So maybe if he stops thinking he'd feel better. Or if he just starts thinking about something else.
When I have his attention I give him an almost goofy smile, it can't really be described as anything but silly and somewhat odd in the present situation. Then I wag my tail playfully before lowering the front of my body down onto the ground, my backside still in the air as my tail wags. My eyes are still curious, I want to see how he reacts to my rather sudden silly behavior. I drop my butt onto the ground as well though, letting my tail keep wagging as I watch him, sure I would've distracted him enough by doing that.
I'm not trying to start a game, I'm communicating with him. Or at least trying to. I was hoping to show him that I'm fine and that I'm happy and relaxed around him. Just in case he's worried about me. Though I'm not sure that's it. Sometimes I wish that I could read the minds of others because it would just be so much eaiser to know what was wrong with them. Because then I wouldn't have to keep guessing, instead I would just be able to know. Since they can't tell me.
I'm looking at him in a reassuring way that I'm hoping will tell him to stop worrying. I'm not sure whether he will read my expression the right way though, because I'm still watching him with curious eyes. I cock my head to the side again with a slightly questioning look, still wanting to know what was running through his mind. But I want him to communicate with me, I want him to try again to 'talk' to me. Even though it's hard for him and he might not like it. I just want him to try so that he might realize eventually that it wasn't as hard as it looked because I notice the small things that he won't even think of. Half the time other dogs wouldn't even need to do anything for me to know what they're trying to tell me. Sometimes the unintentional things say more than when they actually try.
But he wasn't giving off enough signals and small cues, he was just confusing me and making me want to jump into his mind to know what he was thinking. He was intrigueing in a dangerous yet exciting way. I still wasn't scared of him and I doubt that I ever will be. I'm just going to wait to see if he will give communication another go or whether he's just going to leave it as it is and just give up on it still. I'll just keep my eyes on him for now and be patient. It's a good thing that I'm good at being patient.
[/blockquote][/color] |
|
|
|
Post by Ємßєг§ on Jun 5, 2009 11:20:16 GMT -5
The deception you show is your own parasite
Just a word of advice you can heed if you like
And now I'm convinced on the inside that something's wrong with me
Convinced on the inside you're so much more than me
Pickpockets will steal your purses. Your wallets. Your jewelry. Your belongings. I will steal your happiness. Your pride. Your love. Your honesty. And then I will put your things in my own wallet, and keep them there until the leather cover decomposes into a pile of dust. And then I will take your things and use them my way. I will turn them inside out and put them through the dryer. Just to see how badly I can mangle them. I know you want them back. You crave them. But they are mine. I can do what I want. When I want. How I want. Always. Because I have what you need. And I will use it. Preferably, against you. Because I. Hate. You.
I’ve said that before. On many occasions. Funny, how you remember things like that, next to the reply you gave your companion five minutes ago from now. As I killer, I’d say that my victims must have heard this phrase cycling around for awhile. Honestly, I’ve been avoiding using it. Like I’ve been saying, I’m really trying to tone it down. Maybe some extra effort will seriously put off my emotions for awhile, and I can actually live my life the way I want it to go. Nowadays, I have a constant bitter taste in my mouth, knowing that I exist simply to take others out of existence.
Right now, I wish I’d never said anything like that to anyone. Seeing the dog in front of me, so innocent, so fragile, was enough to make me sob. As I had control to grasp my feelings now, I could comprehend it all. But when I lost my ability to hold them back…that’s when I was clueless, when I was vulnerable. Rage blinds you, even unintentional rage. If I could take back the terrible things I’ve said and done while I’m aware of how awful they really are, perhaps I’d become a better creature as a whole. But I can’t.
I was barely paying attention as my companion showed off her teeth in quite an odd manner, and though my eyes were focused intently upon her, my mind wandered in a different direction. She was acting quite like a young pup in my opinion, but perhaps it was intentional? Lighten up. Perhaps that’s what she’d being telling me if she could communicate. And I did. My muscles ached, they were so tense. Something about how eerie this all was…how perfect things could be in the midst of such a terrible creature. I could sense her eagerly awaiting another attempt at communications, however badly she interpreting my signs.
With I sigh, I heaved my shoulders up in a defeated posture. I dunno. I spoke, matching my words with my actions, even though it wouldn’t be a difference. I’m not good, I shook my head. With communication, I gestured back and forth to us and imitated the gestures we’d been making to symbolize our charade like talk.
I am a pickpocket. I will steal the things you love and cherish. But I wish I wasn’t. I wish I was your angel. And I would give you love, and happiness, and honesty. And I would watch you using my gifts to be a better creature, to make a difference. You will know that you can always do what you want, because you have the materials. If you want to stand, then stand. If you want to kneel, kneel. If you want to sit, sit. You are able. You can use your traits, your character, your talent. I want you to take all of my gifts. I. Love. You.
I'm beaten down again, I belong to them
Beaten down again, I've failed you
I'm weaker now my friend, I belong to them
Beaten down again, I've failed you Total Word-Count;; 608
Puppet;; Rivalry
Creativity Level 1 - 10;; Eight
Lyrical Muse;; Truth – Seether
Intended For;; Mental with Flicker
Notepad;; I’m improving! Only a five day wait this time! |
|
|
|
Post by Mental..;; on Jun 5, 2009 20:25:04 GMT -5
life's a puzzle well worth solving [/color]
It worked! I froze completely as my full attention was kept on him, watching him closely so that I wouldn't miss anything and discourage him from trying to communicate again. That's not what I wanted to do at all. Defeated posture. Shaking of the head. Motioning from me to him a couple of times. And he was speaking too, but I don't mind that. If saying things out loud helps him to convey them into movements and actions then he's welcome to speak. Even though I can't hear him. It doesn't really make much of a difference to me. It was easy to tell what he wanted to say to me this time. He's no good at communicating the way he needs to communicate with me. Well, that's what he thinks anyway. He's not that bad, since he's probably never had to do it before.
I raise myself onto my feet again, closing the distance between the two of us. He just seemed so disheartened that I couldn't help but want to comfort him, to make him realize that everything would be fine and that he didn't need to worry so much. About whatever he was worrying. I let my head just rest against his neck in a way that I was hoping would be at least a little comforting. My expression was one of slight pity but also reassurance, my whole being calm again now.
I'm not really being careful around him at all, I'm still not scared of him so my actions aren't hesitant or even cautious. I feel completely comfortable getting close to him to try and comfort him so that he would be less tense. Because I can tell that he's tense, I can see it just by looking at him. I don't even need to look closely even. I don't like watching dogs be so uncomfortable and worried, and the fact that they can't just tell me what's wrong can sometimes get very very annoying. Because it's hard to comfort and reassure someone else when you don't even know what's wrong. Like now. All I can do is just be there, but I can't really do much more than that. I'll just have to wait and see whether it's enough to help him feel better or not.
ooc: not such a good post. a bit museless at the moment.
[/blockquote][/color] |
|
