In.the.End. *open*

[" m o n s t e r ?]

50,000 tears I've cried
screaming,deceiving
and bleeding for you
InK
I'm going under
I'm falling forever

In fear I run
in fear I hide
and I know
and I know
that I can't
can't
go on.

My sleek, ivory hued and ebonite
spotted bod', was curled, pressed
againtst the cold walls of the adobe.
My sun-tinted optics were closed,
my skull buried under my graceful
front pillars, my back lay close
to my bod'. I was frozen, locked,
in terror, my miind throwing images,
which I had for so long left behind
a lock, the key I thought was forever
casted away, but I was wrong. I was
always wrong...always...wrong...wrong.

Outside, the wind was howling, carrying
the calls of many canines across the earth,
I head none of it, the sounds could not
break the hold the memories had on me.
Clouds were gathering around the snow
like moon, and the smell of rain drifted,
I could not smell it, and if I did, I did not
know it. Somewhere not so far, came the
roar of thunder. In my mind memories
clashed, the laughter of jackals, the
crying of felidae. The howls of pain,
the mocking voices..
They held me, and then, then
came the memory, I never
wanted to know.


I saw the large
canines, and the
warm day faded
to a hollow cold.
They advanced,
their jaws
drawn back into
smirks, their
optics glowed
full of laughter.
Niu was screaming
at me, as the dogs
launched, grabbing
my guardian mother.
Pulling her back,
as she tried, tried..
to save us and herself.
My pads were
moving, and
I was running now,
with Niu hollowing behind me,
an the laughter ripping
my audits, and I looked back.
I looked back..
And Niu was ripping,
his facade
splashed in crimson,
my brother
in his jaws, and the
sickening crunch,
echoing across the land..
My mother, still struggling,
til Niu came forth, laughing,
like a Jackal.
His jaws closed over
her mug, then
moved down to her throat..


While the memories played, unknown
to me, I whispered, a song, a song
someone had told me....
"The moon is rising
The crickets
singing
The Jackals
dancing
the Jackals
laughing
and The Jackals
are screaming,
screaming..
Laughing, laughing.
The clouds
are winning,
the moon is loosing,
the light is fading..
and the Jackals
are laughing."

[Ємßєг§]

One ,something's got to give
Two, something's got to give
Three, something's got to give

I hate sand. Never liked it, never will. Perhaps I say the same thing about one aspect or another any place I travel. I hate the sand. I hate the mud. I hate the water. I hate the asphalt. In truth, there's really not much to like when you live in my world. I crave nothing. Not literally nothing, but the nothing. Like, when you're walking around inside of your dream, and all there is around you is the nothing. It's just black. Or white. Or not even a color at all. If the whole world was made of the nothing, I would be happy.

But right at that moment, I wasn't blissful, for I was not wading through the nothing. I was wading through sand. God damn, ugly sand. I was right. I had said the same thing I few nights ago upon my last encounter with another canine. That I hated fog. It was cold, and wet. Now I am hot and dry, and it really doesn't seem to be making any emotional changes as far as I can tell. I still feel like shit, and I still feel like I want to crunch some bones between my teeth. Dang.

I had been approaching a small dingy little town for the past hour. It didn't seem any closer than it was then. Perhaps in was a mirage. I cursed again. Loudly. I leave my little town, the home I felt so...at home in, and trap myself in the midst of a windstorm. I escape one hell, and find myself in a scorching wasteland, half dehydrating myself. Good going, Rivalry.

Claws digging into the sand, I felt my way forward, blinded by the sunlight. Only a sharp pang from my front paw forced me to open my eyes, only to discover I had cut myself. Damn! I swore furiously, maw drawn back in a snarl. I planted myself on the ground, trying to keep myself in place before I went on some bloody rampage. Not that there was any blood around here to be spilt. I always ended up alone in the most dreadful places.

When I looked up again, I found that the little town I had spied earlier was much closer than before, and I padded forward, just the slightest bit eagerly, hoping there'd be something worthwhile in the midst of the deserted area. Ha. Deserted. Desert. No wonder this place didn't have a single soul living it. They probably all died of dehydration, like I was still in the process of doing.

Suddenly the little buzzer bell went off. Ding. Ding. Wrong. There was a soul in this stupid deserted desert town: fucking canine alert. I looked at it from a distance, seething. I hate dogs too. Did I mention that? It just stood there, looking...lost? Confused? Vain. It was inevitable I'd have to pass by. If I wanted to live, that was. If there was water anywhere--maybe a well?--it was in this town. No dog can stop me.

I padded forward. Great.

Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor

[" m o n s t e r ?]

the sorrow takes ahold
don't leave me here
all alone
InK
I"m falling in the black
slipping through the cracks
falling through the depths

I ripped my optics open,
Gold struck, reflecting the yellowed
orb in the sky. They fell upon a
canine. Ivory tainted mug was
parted, allowing a scream
of full-fledged terror to dance
over the heat filled air, that lay
like layers all around. My long
pillarsr began to back me away
from the approaching canine.
The heat distorting the dog,
and giving it the shape of Niu.
I wanted to run, but I didn't.
I wanted to to, I wanted to
die. As it approached though,
the heat waves faded away,
and it's true form was revealed.
My heart threatend to rip itself
from my thudnering chest.
I lowered my sun tinted optics,
as the different hued dog came forth.
My pillars had long ago stoppped moving,
and now I was frozen to the spot. why?
Fear.
My elegant skull, fell down to my chest,
my tail curled itself between my lengthy
ivory and ebonite hued, hind pillars.
I was afraid, I could run, but if this,
this, canine was like Niu, then, what
was the point? My golden optics
stayed placed on my light colored
pads. All the while, something
was screaming at me, inside,
I felt a skull slamming down,
I felt myself slipping from the world.
A memory, everything I owned
was a memory. Yet, they were
more than that, they were..
me, my life.
Yet, my life had been taken
from me, that much I knew,
I knew without a doubt,
my life had been taken from
me and molded into what
Niu wanted.
fear.
can i ever come back?

[Ємßєг§]

The truth hurts so bad,
Wouldn't you say?
So why tell it?
If ignorance is bliss,
Then I'm in heaven now

Mirages quiver. If you stare at one long enough, they appear to move, back and forth in a pendulum like motion as your head bobs up and down. Up. Down. Up. Down. It gets rather monotonous after awhile, too. The other curious thing is that they never seem to get any closer, no matter how fast you walk, no matter how hard you drag your paws through the sifting sand. They only appear to be just a little ways away. But you can never get there. Not ever.

As I drew nearer, paws dragging lazily through golden dust, I began to expect the dog ahead of me would begin to dissipate slowly as the solid structure of the body began to ebb, waving back and forth, as my head went up, down, up, down. It didn't. The dog still remained stationary, and drew closer as I did. It existed in the realm of reality, as did I, the town, and that cursed desert as well. If it didn't quaver, it was real.

Sun beat overhead like a pearl, pulsing inside it's protective oyster shell, sparking white; a jewel to those who laid their eyes upon it. A small color-changing sphere began to circle my vision as I stared into the light. Wasn't that a sign that you were destroying your eye-sight? I couldn't remember; I just squinted my eyes, peering closer as if I was preparing for it to burn out. At least then it wouldn't be hot. So hot.

By the time I looked in front of me again, there was the dog. Closer. Much closer. Only about ten feet away from me now. It looked scared. Terrified. Mortally terrified. Damn... I repeated, more softly this time. They were all scared. All of the dogs I met. Cowards, every last one of them. This was what the entire population of canines were coming to; damned, lowly creatures, giving in to everything and anything. I did not fall into that category. I was not a coward.

Stopping about five feet away from the femme, I felt my lip curl back in anger. Why couldn't they stand up for themselves? The dogs. The entire race of them. They disgraced me, disgraced those like me. I felt an old idea, creeping back up my spine, almost seeming to whisper I'm back as my claws dug into the hellish sea of sand. If they were such a disgrace, such an insult to our kind, why let them live? Why not eliminate them? The stronger survive. The weaker perish. Kill, or be killed. Was that not the life of a stray?

I could taste the blood that was yet to be shed upon my tongue. I craved it. The old sparkle that littered my orbs regained its place; that sparkle I had been trying to suppress. The sparkle that seemed to trigger my hunger, my blood-lust. I wanted to be normal, like any other dog. I didn't want to be a killer, I had been trying to change my ways. But I wasn't normal. Rivalry wasn't normal. I was your worst nightmare.

Nightmares aren't normal either.

Run, you'll never escape
You see, you go nowhere,
Broke, laid to waste,
Turn into sweet nothings,
That kiss you goodbye

[" m o n s t e r ?]

Take a look at my body
Look at my hands
There's so much here
that I don't understand
InK
I've been treated so wrong
I've been treated so long
As if I'm becoming
untouchable

The canine stopped, and as I stared,
my golden optics flickering up for a mere
second, I wished it were a dream, wished
he weren't here..Wished I wasn't here,
wasn't alive, wished I was gone. I lifted my
optics once more and let them drift onto, his facade.
It's was splashed in different hues, ivory, storm,
and ebonite. I did not move my optics to look
back down at my snow-painted pads, instead
I let them stay there, looking into his, and I saw
that look, so much like Niu's, and I knew, and
I knew..I didn't use my mask to hide my emotions,
atleast not anymore, what was the point? I no longer
had any, I was nothing, broken, empty, worthless.
and knowing I was, and knowing what I had once been.
I had once been, something, wild, full of life, and
I could have meant something to this world.
I didn't, I only meant enough to be an
object of Niu's mind. My optics, sun tinted,
so gentle so young, filled with ever-growing
fear and never-ending sorrow. I let
my mug parted, and I let my lyrics,
hollow,and so.......empty, so soft, and
innocent.
"e-Ello"
I was still a puupy really, barely two.
Yet, did the world give a care?
No, it didn't, it simply didn't.
My sun-hued optics never left
his facade. Did he care?
Did anyone care?
Did I even care?
I didn't know anymore,
I didn't know, I sighed,
quiet, almost silent,
a weary sigh, one of
a never ending nightmare, Nightmares
at night, nightmarish life. Did I feel
sorry for myself? No, i just felt..
Empty, hollow, worthless.

High above, the mocking sun
easily blew its rays over the
glowing earth..It was so free,
it was so....
free.
I'm the slow dying flower

[Ємßєг§]

You tried to kill the pain,
But only brought more
You lay dying
And you're pouring crimson regret and betrayal

I'm not the one to pity. When I kill, when I feel the skin tear, the rush of adrenaline pumping through me, I don't feel remorse for my victim; I don't comprehend their suffering. It's only about me. It's only about me, washing away my own pain, forcing them to feel my own suffering. There's no room for pity. Not usually. Not ever.

Yet, I stared onward upon the femme before me, looking at her as quizzically as I could without giving away my curiosity. Something about her made me want to stop; to walk right on past her, ignoring her very existence, and just leave her be to live on. What was it? The tremor in her composure? Maybe her pitiful stammer as she made out her frightened greeting? The flash in her eyes as if she had expected me to be what I was?

I felt my tongue circle around my lips anxiously, as if I was trying to think of something to say, even though I didn't really want to speak. It was a rather odd feeling to have; to want to do something that you weren't sure you wanted to do. But as I continued to gaze up upon the cowardly female before me, I found myself struggling to say something to...to...to do something no doubt. I just wasn't exactly sure what. Just moments before, I had felt the blood-lust creeping upon me again. Where had it gone?

Hello. I responded quietly to her previous greeting, swallowing a little bubble of anger that remained lodged in my chest. She's a disgrace to your kind! A coward! Kill her! Kill! The little bubble kept screaming at me. I literally had to hold it down in my stomach to keep myself from bursting. Why must I be cursed with such an imperfection? Why could I not control my emotions in the way in which others did? It was infuriating, thinking about myself. Could I ever think of myself in a positive way?

I clicked my tongue silently inside of my mouth, observing my prey--no, acquaintance. But we hadn't been introduced yet, so wouldn't we still be considered complete strangers? This was a rather puzzling concept, and I had almost forgotten I had uttered a word for a few seconds before I...re-noticed...the canine in front of me, trembling slightly. This wouldn't end well. No...not this time...

You're dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
Are you too lost
To be saved?
Are you too lost?

[" m o n s t e r ?]

wounds so deep
they never show
they never go away
InK
like moving pictures
in my head
for years and years
they've played

the butterflies are dying..
the butterflies are dying..

My golden optics were locked upon
his facade, never looking into his optics.
Never daring, never... Waiting for the moment
he moved, waiting for the knives that lay within
is mug to rip my throat apart...Waiting, but it never
came.
Hello.
never came...
I slowly, ever so slowly let my sun hued optics
drifted to look into his. Time was passing..
I didn't notice, I let my optics look into his,
searching really....Then, quietly my lyrics,
so soft, so broken....
Butterfly oh little butterfly...
"n-Niu sent you didn't he?..."
His name, just saying it, made my gaze lower from
the canine before me, and sent rugged tremors
through my bod', and I felt my mind being torn
apart by the mere sound of it...
I heard his voice, heard the comforting words,
the screaming words, the promises, the lies..
The acting. My guardian angel sent me to my death.
He was my guardian angel, He is my Lilith.
The thoughts in my skull screaming, screaming,
no howling, mournfully howling, forcing their messages
through my skull, and the termors in my bod' grew
with every memory...I felt cold, I felt hot, I felt......
like I was t e a r i n g a p a r t...
My sun tinted optics were lowered, but no matter
how hard I tried I couldn't control myself, couldn't
find the mask...My optics were betraing me, letting
every dang emotion i felt roll into them and collide
into something heartbrealing, something terrifying.
Sorrow, fear, brokness, numbness, anger, hatred,
silent emotions having been held within the mask
for so long, now were racing into my optics while
my bod' felt like it was numb, shaking, shiver..fear..
t e a r i n g a p a r t


facing all this pain here on my own

[Ємßєг§]

I feel them getting closer,
Their howls are sending chills down my spine
And time is running out now,
They're coming down the hills from behind

<sub>Conversations are quite a frequent thing. A habit, really. You don't even think twice before starting once. Because there is evidently so many different conversations, you come across quite a number of them in which your companion talking may mention a person, or creature, whom you don't really quite know. And though you don't want to be rude, you may scoff a little, saying, Who's that? or Should I know him or her?

Now, seeing I'm not the one to converse, I found it surprising to have such a talk, rather than a normal exchange of hellos. In my case, I was dumbfounded by the unfamiliar name of "Niu". Niu sent you, didn't he? Came the quavering voice of the dog I had barely been aqquainted with. As far as I could remember, there weren't any Nius coming to mind as I stood looking at the terrified canine, now looking as if it was about to collaspe in terror. Pathetic.

The jeweled sun emitted a perfect sphere of rays around itself like a bizzare hula hoop, dancing precisely around it in a slow ritual of motion. A wave of heat engulfed the daytime air, causing a shimmer of an illusion of fog to appear before my clouded optics. I squinted through the light to make out the brimming fear in the orbs of the other dog. This Niu he spoke of must have been a pretty rough guy judging from the way he quavered as he spoke the name.

Who the hell is Niu? I spat detestfully, glaring angrily at the other. I do whatever the fuck I want. No one sends me to do anything. It was true. I wasn't a follower, I didn't listen to orders. I did my own thing. I was the one in charge. No exceptions. Did I really seem like someone who would prance after the bigger dog, waiting on them hand and foot to see if they'd like anything? No, that was a description fitting more of whatever the dog in front of me's name was.

I spat distastefully to my side, hackles raised in an offensive pose. I wasn't particularly liking this new found dog. Not in the slightest. It was too...weak, to let go unharmed. And that careless comment inferring that I was following another wasn't doing it a favor either. My eyes scanned it's bodice heartlessly, trying to locate the weak points to attack. It certainly appeared defenseless, if nothing else. I felt confident enough that I could rip his throat open easily and leave him bleeding all over the bloodied sand.

Giving the mutt a last skeptical look, I offered him a few seconds of peace to one, possibly respond to what I just said, and two, brace himself for when I lunged at his throat. It was just too tempting. I craved to kill, to rid myself of my anger through my expressive murderings, whether successful or not. I just wanted to tast the blood on my tongue. Damn, blood was just too sweet.</sub>

When we start killing
It all will be falling down
From the hell that we're in,
All we are is fading away
When we start killing

Total Word-Count;; 506
Puppet;; Rivalry
Creativity Level 1 - 10;; Six
Lyrical Muse;; The Howling -- Within Temptation
Intended For;; Scourge with Ink

[" m o n s t e r ?]

only the strongest
will survive
lead me to heaven
when we die
InK
i am the shadow
on the wall

an eye for
an eye makes the
world go blind,
but they never
said what to do
when the whole
world can't see

Who the hell is Niu?
The words they swarmed into my mind,
my iceburg mind, it was tipping, and once
it fully did it would drag me down to the depths
of the ice water below, into the nothingness,
nothingness..Niu's nothingness, an abyss of
fear.
If you feel so empty
So used up, so let down
The breath-taking terror fell away, he didn't
know...Stupid canine, stupid, Me or Him? I didn't
know, my sun struck optics flickered up onto his,
and the look was back...The look..The uncaring look,
kill...torture..lust. Niu and not Niu, and inside my mind
clicked, and flickered back...
If you feel so angry
The ice burg righting itself,
the depths below no longer a threat. He, the creature
before me, wasn't Niu, nor would he ever be Niu.
Niu, niu he hadn't found me, Niu had lost, the almighty
god had lost me...His hold upon my mind fell away...
for the moment.
So ripped off so stepped on
Slowly, I lifted my ivory hued, ebonite stained skull...
My sun stained optics drifted onto his facade..
They were empty of the never-ending sorrow, the
heart-pounding fear, every last emotion that had been
there now replaced with a mocking look, one that held
no fear, just mockery...Mockery that was cast upon
the stupid excuse...Well yes, you get to where my mind
was now going. A smirk twisted over my elegant facade.
The bod' racking tremors were gone, and I was still, deathly
still.
If you feel so filthy, So dirty so f.cked up
The iceburg wasn't tipping now..no..No, it wasn't..
My mind, the iceburg, was being struck by jagged, claw
like, sparks, of lightning, from the storm that was consuming
my mind...Anger, the pureness of it was there.
Niu had not found me, and this..This wretched thing was
going to put me in the nothingness, in, though, not knowing
it, would suceed in doing Niu's job.
I had a chance...I have a CHANCE...
My optics were still locked upon his, every muscle in my
different hued bod' was tensed, pulsing with what filled
my mind..The sheer will to live? I didn't know, nor do I
think I ever would know what consumed me at the moment.
If you feel so walked on
I let a low chuckle break from my midnight painted lips.
Let my lyrics, so butterfly like, so innocent, now so twisted..
Grace the world.
"My precious friend, you don't really want to do this do
you? Because I for one do..."
I was smiling insanely now, perhaps I was..Niu might have
left my mind in a different state then he wished.
He had left it broken..me broken, he was looking for me,
I know..I know, because I hear the Jackals laughing in
my mind, but...I wasn't completely broken was I? No..
or I wouldn't have said what I just did, finally snapped?
The possiblity of that is great..I didn't care.
My lengthy pillars, stricked the color of snow and dotted
with the hue of a starless night, were lowered, bunched.
So painful so pissed off
My plume flicked behind, not in a pleasuring way,
no but in the way a felidae would flick it's gallant
tail when it's prey has just escaped.. Unpleasant..
an understatement, anger..not even close.
My contrasting bod' was lowered, stalking, crouch.
Only then, did I realize how powerful I actaully was,
feeling my muscles bounced, my large form..The knives
that called a home...my mouth.
You're not the only one
Refusing to go down
A snake, I guess I was like one, my mind idly
pondered on what the idoitic thing infront of me thought.
I wasn't even sure what I thought about myself at the
moment, other than the fact, I could not hurt Niu, but
I CAN hurt the canine infront of me. The canine that
wanted to take what I had finally gotten, the canine..
that stood a mere fox length away. The time, was it passing?
I didn't know, I didn't care..I knew what I was going to do,
and wether the time ticked life away or not, I was going
to do it.
So get up
I felt my hind pillars shift, move, my pads..They left the burning
sand that stung like a thousand flames. My bod' it flew, no it
soared through the still air. My optics, color of sun, color of
gold, were locked on his rump..True aim was his
speckled arrogant skull. If, no..when, my pads touched
down upon the little thing, it would snap, his little skull
would snap under my large pads....and I would laugh,
laugh like the God of Nothingness that had raised me.
I had given way to the Insanity..
for how long?
It didn't matter...
What mattered?
Killing the creature..No, killing the low-lifed, useless
excuse of a canine..He was my targert, and my fuel?
My fuel was NIU.
Let's start a riot

[Ємßєг§]

Here I stand,
Empty hands,
Wishing my wrists were bleeding,
To stop the pain from the beatings

<sub>Blood is red. Not blue. Not yellow. Not silver, or gold. Red. Plain red. Or perhaps a scarlet red or a maroon colored red. If you look deeper, maybe even a mahogany tone. And if you look at it in the light, each drop gives off a shine, something like that of a large glass pitcher on a picnic blanket in mid-afternoon. Running through your mouth, you might mistake it as water, but the bittersweet taste and the warming touch might catch you off guard. Not many can describe blood. All they know is that it is red, and it is bad if it is seeping from your flesh. But I am not one of the ignorant. I know what blood tastes like, feels like, looks like, and smells like. I have sought out blood before. Many, many, times. Blood is to me, like water is to you. It is so natural to see, it isn’t near astonishing.

Not only did I know of blood, but I craved it. I wanted it. Feeling the scarlet stream trickle between my fangs relieved me. It made me feel as if I had control over my life, and I could handle any situation. As if it could release my anger. Hey, there’s the dog that bullied me back when I was pup. The sinking of teeth, the cracking of bone, the pouring blood. All better now. Nothing to worry about, nothing to pay attention to. The blood makes it better. Always. I don’t want to be angry. My angered emotions, like all of the other feelings, are portrayed more fully than that of a normal creature. I need to contain them. If I have my share of blood I need not worry about it. Problem solved.

But then there was the other problem: Not only did I want not to be angry, but I did not truthfully want to kill. I wanted to be normal. If you watch the normal critters traveling about, they are not the ones to kill, to lust after blood. They just mind their own business, keeping their feelings to themselves. Normality. That’s what I wanted. I could not kill and have that normality I also craved. I had to find a way to suppress the killing, to achieve it, even if had to contain my anger. It was so confusing, trying to find a way to attain what I desired, seeing that there were so many things I couldn’t do. But I would find a way.

I stared into the eyes of the Dane, realizing the familiar blood lust burrowing under my skin. I wanted to kill her. She was so pitiful, such a coward, it seemed. So disgraceful, I could wipe her out. She was an easy target, and though I wasn’t entirely angry, I wanted her blood any way. My attacks were always quite simple; the throat, mostly, perhaps the stomach if I had the chance. All were places where I could release the most blood. I wanted to see what I had accomplished. A simple bite on the back of the neck does not show the effort I put into my work. Then, if I leave the body floating in a pool of oozing liquid, now there’s something I can look back upon and be proud of.

As I continued contemplating the Dane’s weak point, I barely noticed the flash of anger that whirled about her orbs, and the sudden tensing of haunches. Something had stirred within the pathetic creature, and I looked up curiously, trying to uncover what she was thinking. I heard her speak, but found myself ignoring her words, too involved with my own malicious plans to care. And then she was flying. Not literally, but she had leaped; a magnificent leap at that. My optics scanned her face and I locked my eyes with hers, finding her pupils intently set upon my back haunches. With a slight snarl, I darted forward hastily, a frantic dodge, attempting to be quick enough to avoid impact. But I found myself a tad late, as the femme crashed down upon my outstretched hind legs.

Silently, I fell to the ground. Uttering a sound was a sign of weakness I knew I had to avoid. I was not weak. Though I was at least a half a foot shorter than the Dane, I had the experience, had I not? Did that not mean I was at an advantage? Or was it? My chin slammed against the bare earth, my paws sprawled out before me. I knew I had to get up or be killed, and I scrabbled quickly against the dirt, but found to be weighed down by the Dane who had successfully succeeded in her attack. My turn. I thought breathlessly, but realized that it could not be. She was on top. I was on defense now.</sub>

Here I stand,
Empty hands,
Wishing my wrists were bleeding,
To stop the pain from the beatings

Total Word-Count;; 812
Puppet;; Rivalry
Creativity Level 1 - 10;; Eight
Lyrical Muse;; Red Sam -- Flyleaf
Intended For;; Koma with Ink